40.
Equality and Diversity in a Partnership
The
vast majority of books on sexual relationships contain recommendations on how a
woman should behave with her partner. These recommendations sometimes work, and
sometimes have the opposite effect, because in these books the crucial element
is missing: the partner can be the chosen one, or he can be the alpha. ‘Just a
partner’ is possible only in the most basic of situations such as ‘Don’t wallop
your partner with a dirty cloth in the presence of others’. So recommendations
must be diverse.
Women
have only two executive program sets, for the chosen one and the alpha
accordingly. A woman’s behaviour is determined by the program that is operative
at that particular moment. The way she relates to both the alpha and the chosen
one can be totally opposed in certain details, because this is governed by only
one program. The program ‘package’ associated with the alpha goes back in time
much longer and has much more force than the package associated with the chosen
one.
The
essential relationship is ‘chosen one-woman’ and ‘alpha-woman’. All other
relationships are an imitation of these two. It is possible to accommodate
these elements together but this is not desirable as it entails a power
conflict. Those who attempt to come to an agreement on the distribution of
powers usually end up in a conflict of interests.
The
‘woman-chosen one’ relationship assumes an equal partnership, at least because
the partners need to hide from the alpha if they want to indulge in sex. The
‘woman-alpha’ relationship is not an equal one, it is one based on submission
as the alpha dominates and submission to the alpha is prescribed in the woman’s
program. These partnership rules apply to all possible workings between the
couples.
The
alpha is always older whereas the chosen one may be of the same age. Marriages
with the chosen one fail more often than those with the alpha, and, besides,
marriages with the alpha last longer.
Young
women betray the alphas with the chosen ones and the chosen ones with the
alphas. Chosen ones are not betrayed with other chosen ones as one chosen one
cannot be replaced by another. The chosen one is unique. The alpha is a
discrete entity. The alpha cannot be perceived by a woman as only 77% of an
alpha, the alpha in the female consciousness is either an alpha or he is not.
In that all alphas are equal.
An
alpha is not betrayed with another alpha, but an alpha can be left for another
alpha. Just as with chimpanzees, one alpha can be replaced by another alpha:
there is an accepted alpha standard, and the alpha is a Gestalt. Biology
stipulates that the alpha must be changed, and a rich alpha is better than a
poor alpha.
Mature
women are unfaithful to their ‘own’ non-alpha by having sex with the alpha. A
woman can always say why she loves the alpha by enumerating the alpha
qualities. But the woman can only rarely say why she loves her chosen one, and
his virtue lies in the fact that he is the chosen one of this woman because he
was born with a scope of genetic material that must coincide with the
requirements of the female program. Naturally, a woman cannot say that,
therefore she will say something like ‘I love him for what he is... mmm...’
Uttered with a sigh.
The
alpha, with due regard for social restrictions, is allowed to have sex with
other women. Thus, whereas a Moslem may have several wives, in the West a man
will not wish to be seen with his mistress in public. The chosen one is not
allowed to have sex on the side. The alpha’s wife and mistress may even know
each other and the roles they each perform, and get on perfectly well together.
But with the chosen one such a turn of events would be impossible as he would
be confronted by aggression from both women.
The
women decide how many women will be made available to the man. If previously
men were considered without an alpha parameter, women can allow the man to have
several women only if he has all the alpha parameters. This is the option most
favourable for the maintenance of population quality. If the women are to be
brought together in one place, the alpha parameters have to be complemented by
social status.
As
a couple in an equal partnership the woman much more frequently tries to
suppress the man and is very often successful. The suppression of any man
occurs according to the same scenario as with the suppression of the alpha: at
first his stress levels are increased, then he is made hysterical after which
he is no longer of interest and is evicted.
A
woman has faith in the alpha and submits to the alpha. This applies both to
sexual and social relations, and the woman is also inclined to apply her faith
to areas where the alpha is not competent. The chosen one is forgiven his
mistakes, but the alpha’s mistakes, even if they are verbally forgiven,
undermine the woman’s faith in him and, consequently, the alpha-status.
The
woman knows how she should behave and knows when she has to be submissive.
Chimpanzee females know that they will be savagely punished for their
infidelity, but engage in infidelity nevertheless. Women know that they must
not flirt with strangers, neglect the child, or neglect their duties. Both
chimpanzee females and human females know that they may be punished and
therefore if they are caught accept that punishment as proper. This is the
origin of such ideas as ‘if he beats me it means he loves me’, although men do
not love in the same way as women do. What she thinks is that she is being
beaten for something she has done and therefore if he is beating her that means
he is not indifferent to her. Some women think that if they are not beaten for
something they have done wrong then that is a sign of male indifference.
Healthy males never beat females if they feel indifference towards them. The
use of physical force is the exclusive prerogative of the alpha. If the chosen
one uses physical violence, the woman will most likely leave him.
The
meaning of punishment is the closure of an open problem. The feelings of the
‘alpha -female’ are more robust and last longer than the feelings of the
‘chosen one - woman’ because, as complement to the main issue, the alpha may
mete out punishment for incorrect behaviour whereas the chosen one cannot as
the chosen one and the woman are equal. With the chosen one the problems remain
open and they tend to accumulate, leading to severance.
Women
perceive the same behaviour by the chosen one and the alpha in different ways.
What in the chosen one will be viewed as narcissism she may see as
self-confidence in the alpha. She says to the chosen one ‘be gentle with me’,
but to the alpha she says ‘be rough with me’. She says to the chosen one ‘I’m
the large one’ and to the alpha ‘I’m the small one’. If the chosen one shows
off his physical strength she may say to him ‘Stop making a spectacle of
yourself’, but to the alpha she’ll say ‘Wow’.
There
exist plenty of legends about oral sex. The truth is that for a healthy man it
is physically less pleasurable than traditional sex. For the alpha it is the
ultimate expression of the convergence of sex and submission. If a woman wants
to get pleasure from oral sex she must feel the urge to submit. Oral sex is not
equal sex, and it can only be desired with the alpha. Very many non-alphas also
want to feel as though they are alphas, even if for a short period of time.
This is why it is a popular feeling. But the non-alpha cannot appreciate female
submission, and this leads to the disparagement of both oral sex and
submission, both in the mind of the non-alpha and the woman. Oral sex may also
be devalued by both equally if it is used only for the purpose of achieving an
erection. Oral sex with the chosen one is a non-essential extra. The chosen one
usually gets turned on with the first physical contact, and with an excess of
feelings simple handwork is enough for him.
It
is quite easy for the alpha to get the woman to perform oral sex, and the woman
will also get some pleasure from it. This also applies to all similar things
sometimes regarded as kinkiness. But to do it for the chosen one and out of
free choice is unpleasant and provokes in the woman aversion and protest
because it does not correspond to rank. Such actions contain an excess of
submissiveness, and submissiveness is not an option for the chosen one, but
only for the alpha.
The
woman associates herself very much with her face. In her relations with the
chosen one the woman usually does not like his hands to touch her face,
although with the alpha this may please her. But in this instance what appeals
to one woman may not appeal to another.
Women
whose identification programmes are disrupted may take any man as the alpha, including
her chosen one. If at the same time the female behavioural programs with regard
to the alpha work correctly, the woman will regard that man as the real alpha.
Alphas
do not have a good grasp of innuendo. Innuendo is for the chosen one, alphas
require explicit demonstration. Alphas see innuendo, including sexual innuendo,
as bad behaviour, and therefore their most likely reaction to innuendo will be
negative. The chosen one responds to sexual innuendo, and the alpha has a
stronger reaction to the behaviour of submission. The chosen one is turned on
by any girl, including and especially the ‘bad’ girl. Alphas prefer ‘good’ and
‘obedient’ girls. Alphas do not need to play-act, including with words of love.
The alpha does not like it when his ear is tickled and he hears ‘my pet’.
The distinction between the alpha and the chosen one
is prescribed in female programs. Quod
licet Jovi, non licet bovi. What is legitimate for Jupiter, is not
legitimate for oxen.
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